Letter From An Annoyed Shopper

Dear Holiday Shoppers,

I can tolerate a lot of your bull shit. I try to be nice to everyone, go easy on the cashiers, say excuse me and just be polite in general. I put up with people standing in the middle of the aisle instead of moving off to the side, and abrupt stopping so that I flop forward and get so close to your hair I can smell the sweat odor wafting that tells me you haven’t showered in a while. Not to mention crashing into my cart with yours, and nearly trampling my husband as he bends down to get a bottle of wine for me.

I put up with you walking in the exits and exiting out the entrances. Not to mention the new lovely scratch marks on my car from someone backing out to close, and the other time when they nearly ripped off my rear view mirror.

However, one can only take so much. Truthfully, I don’t care if you have five carts brimming over with stuff for your kids, family, friends, whatever. That’s awesome and I hope you’re able to give them everything they want. However, when you have all that stuff:

DO NOT STAND IN A 20 ITEM OR LESS LINE! SERIOUSLY WHAT THE EVER LOVIN’ FLIPITTY FLACK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DID YOUR MOTHER NOT TEACH YOU MANNERS? IS IT REALLY SOOOO DIFFICULT TO STAND IN A PROPER LINE LIKE THE REST OF THE POPULATION? WHEN I HAVE FOUR ITEMS IN MY CART AND I GO TO AN EXPRESS LINE, I EXPECT IT TO BE EXPRESS! NOT HAVE SOMEONE STANDING IN FRONT OF ME JUST PAYING FOR TWENTY ITEMS AT A TIME WHEN THEY HAVE LIKE WELL OVER A HUNDRED ITEMS!

Seriously, and the pour cashier can’t say anything without getting into trouble. We asked. That’s not fair to the customers or the cashier.

And yes. Yes, at this point, I call you out on it, to your face.

“You realize this is twenty items or less?”

She responds with a glare.

My husband chimes in. “Twenty items my ass.”

Another glare, but no response.

Why?

BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE WAS WRONG!

Having a little courtesy goes a long way. If you’re at a store, with lots of items, don’t hit the express aisle and make others suffer for it. Have a little bit of class, and a little bit of respect. You’re not the only one shopping this holiday season. It’s not hard to say excuse me, or get in the proper lines. Just, be nice. It doesn’t cost anything and may be the best gift you can give a stranger this season.

Be Nice To Your Fellow Shoppers DAMMIT!

Sincerely,

A Disgruntled Writer Who Will Put This Rude Woman In A Work Of Fiction Complete With Moles, STD’s, and Crochety Crab Syndrome.

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2 thoughts on “Letter From An Annoyed Shopper

  1. E.L. Wicker says:

    OMG – That just totally cracked me up!! My husband is a nightmare out shopping. He used to be so placid but after the army he became impatient and irritable and one of is pet hates is people getting in his way at the supermarket. I follow him around apologizing to the people he glares at as he mutters about how inconsiderate they are. But c’mon – 20 items (10 over here) or less means what it says. That gets on my tits too.

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